Thursday, September 21, 2017

"If You Get Tired Learn to Rest, Not Quit" -Banksy

Have you ever done something once and things went well then go to do it again and it's a lot harder the second time around? I'm really struggling with weight loss this second time around... Granted there are several key factors that have changed this experience from the last experience. The first time around my body never experienced pregnancy, I had 4 kids, but they were older. I was married to their dad whom had a consistent schedule, therefore I could depend on his help and support with the kids. I was working, which means I dropped my kids off at daycare or school everyday, went to work a full 8 hour day, then went straight to the gym and home to my family. This was my day every day--my work day was extremely predictable and always had my shakes for meals prepared the night before; meals were simply a breeze with quite literally no thinking involved. Lastly, I was doing the Visalus shakes twice a day. Visalus shakes had all the ingredients in the mix to help provide energy, vitamins, nutrients, and fat burning/cleansing all within those two scoops per shake. The weight literally just melted right off. Granted when I got involved with school while working and raising four kids as a single mother, time was my absolute worst enemy. I literally had zero time to do what was necessary for my own health and meal prep all while playing mom&dad, working full time, and attending college fulltime. Outside exercise went straight out the door and exhaustion was my daily state-of-being.

This time around I am in a relationship with a supportive man by my side whom has contributed to my ability to stay home with my children and be a full time mom. That is such a blessing and all at once such a curse. My job went from dividing my attention among children, work, and school to KIDS ALL DAY! Then watching my niece during the day has only contributed to the crazy I live every single day. My honey's job has a wildly inconsistent job causing him to go from working nights some days to working day the rest of the week. Sometimes he's lucky to get a full month of all nights or all days--however lately that has not been the case. It's been a mad house on the home front for a multitude of reasons; one large factor being my son recently diagnosed with Intellectual Disability along with a behavioral and other neurological development disorders. In the last few weeks it's become official after years of knowing deep down something was wrong. It's like experiencing grief all over again after recently losing my grandmother. I've realized his brains capacity will hold him back from so much in life; and now that he's receiving services at school to help him-- I now have to take him twice a week to private speech and once a week to behavioral counseling were he is going to learn about things we know without ever thinking and take for granted everyday. He just turned 9 and he is such a beautiful loving soul and knowing all this has brought on extra stress, doubt, fear, anxiety, and loaded my plate with more than raising 5/6 kids every single week.

As you can see motivation has been a lot more difficult this time around. These days are filled with so much more than I ever imagined; thankfully I am surrounded with support and for that I am so grateful. However, one thing my mother continues to remind me of it, "You have to take care of yourself; or you will not be strong for everyone else." She is absolutely right and my new mantra is strive for balance. If I can achieve a sense of balance with all these things happening I'll continue to stay on track of keeping myself healthy and becoming the FIT I need in order to be the supermom my kids see me as...

Although progress is slow going, I'm still making progress. This is becoming more of a mental game rather than a physical one. Getting the mind right will contribute to getting the body right. So far in September I am down another 2 lbs putting me at a grand total of -67 lbs. In the grand scheme of things it is a lot! I have done very well at keeping a regular gym schedule despite the crazy. Since Honey is working during the day, I am taking my two younger girls with me to the gym; they go to child watch and I go work out--then my older three stay with my oldest daughter for the 1.5-2 hours it takes to drive there, work out, and drive home. I've still accomplished getting kids homework done, my sons appointments, dinner, and bedtime routines all within the short time frame I have between 3pm and 8:30pm. I'm kicking my own ass keeping up with it all--but I am DOING IT! At the gym on the new schedule I have so far completed 65 minutes on the elliptical (high intensity) and alternating days 45 minutes on the elliptical with incorporating core and circuit training. Days honey is home, I can go alone and get a lot more done. Little Cheeks just can't hold out in child care much after 7pm--she used to being at home winding down for bedtime at 8pm. All in all I am getting there! "Go the extra mile it's never crowded" -Unknown

-Meredith

No comments:

Post a Comment