Friday, October 6, 2017

Parenting Thoughts, Fears, and More

The topic today is one that hits deep... The entire country is struggling with this right now. The mass shooting in Las Vegas has everyone in complete shock and for many Americans mourning a sudden loss of a loved one, angry at this coward who took innocent lives and cowardly took his own life instead of facing the consequences of his actions... this leads us all to the common question, why? As when any crime occurs, officials are doing their job and working toward finding the answer to this question. A question I am almost too terrified to learn what they find. As a mother I'm reflecting on the kind of world we live in... Unfortunatly, tragic events such as this are becoming all too common. Living in America, we're supposed to be in the greatest, most advanced and safe country in this world! If that is the case, why has all this violence become the forefront of America? What are we doing that is allowing our own people to terrorize each other?

 I won't get into politics but I am not in agreement with a lot of issues and how things are handled by our current administration. Although, I do believe the divide the current administration has cultivated ever so passive-aggressively, has contributed somewhat to all the dismay. People are so passionately defensive of our administration and decide to discount all the facts as to why so many do not support the administration or vise versa. Overall, this country has devloped such high tensions and it's hard to decipher if this could be a contributing factor to these horrific things that continually happen. Being an every day average person, people like myself will never really know.

What has plagued me is how does a mother, such as myself properly educate my own children about the world around us. How do we teach the magnitude of tragedy that any of us could wake up one day to face? How do we prepare ourselves much less our own children to recognize this can happen anytime, anywhere? When I became a mother all I wanted to do was create my own family, enjoy motherhood, and raise good people to send off into the world and successfully contribute to society leading happy confident lives. All we want is for our children to inherit strong morals and allow them the opportunity to go into this world and make a difference. How can we teach them these things all while the world around us has desensitized children and hardened their hearts?

 This life we live is so precious and we only get one chance. Our children only get one chance to really enjoy the lives their given. It's hard to do things like send them to school, take our kids to the movie theater, a ball game, a concert, or any multitude of events where they could potentially become the next victim to the next person who "falls off their rocker". How are parents supposed to allow independence in their children without placing them in a bubble, with all that is happening around us? Parenting isn't an easy task by any means; then you add all the extra elements going on and it sometimes makes it feel practically impossible!

It saddens me my children will never  know the same freedoms and enjoyment I experienced as a kid growing up. Yes, there were bad things happening even then, but the world was still a much safer place back then. With every new generation the ways of parenting have to become tighter and forces us to hold our kids hand in all they do not just as children but teenagers! This day and age I will not drop my kids off at the mall, movie theater, skating rink, or the swimming pool like when I was their age. My oldest daughter even has a cell phone! I can call her at any moment and have direct contact with her. I have a tracking device on her phone so I know were shes at when shes on the bus, at school, or out with other family members. When I was growing up cell phones didn't exist. I just cant even fathom how my parents so freely let us be kids! The times are so different and regardless of how hard we try to give our kids the "same good childhood" we had, we will never truly be able to allow them that opportunity for their safety is constantly at risk doing the most mundane things.

I am not a helicopter mom by any means because I do firmly believe my kids need to experience things for themselves. I do hold them accountable for their actions, they do have small responsibilities, and I allow them to face the natural consequences when things do not go right. Their provided structure, routine, and discipline. That's the only way they will learn to be sucessful individuals. I also love them so fiercely and make sure they know they are loved every single day. I believe a good balance of the two is really the only way your going to fully provide your child all the social and emotional tools they need to be their own person. I still just CAN NOT get over the anxiety and fears this world has instilled in me as a mother that no mother should ever have to think twice about, especially living in the country we do.

My heart aches so badly for those lives lost this past week and all the pain their loved ones are facing in their losses. I just can not imagine the parents who have lost children, even though they were adult children, no parent should ever have to lose their child. It isn't how the cycle of life is supposed to work. I have held my own children a little closer and a little tighter this week and will continue to do so because each day I am so thankful to have another day with them. I am praying for the families of experiencing loss and I'm praying for the courage and strength of our officials to find justice for these families and for our country over- all to set aside their differences and become one. It's times like this we are reminded how much we all need one another.

-Meredith

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